A poem based on events from January 6 2021

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In search of an exit

I went corner to corner

wondering where I left off and

where my steps started over

I couldn’t figure out how to get out of the box,

the very thing that locked me out after I knocked,

A single tune couldn’t be heard for miles,

the dark, cold tile

filled with bile and projectile

A wish that a comet would come down and relieve me

of the four tiny walls that went dark and deceived me

A killer whale driven by instinct inspired

A yellow goldfish who circles repeatedly tired

Weak and afraid,

keenly aware that I worn out my welcome. …


I’m Setting Goals In One Of The Most Sluggish Months Of The Year

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Pierre Le Fou: 1969

I can’t be the only one who feels like I move slower in the winter. Something about the crisp, biting air, the need to stay in the warm covers during the dark mornings, and consume every hot beverage in my eyesight in order to create a semblance of comfort separated from the summer I miss so dearly.

That being said, goal-setting for me has always pulled itself to a screeching halt as soon as the temperature drops below 40 degrees. To add to the bite of winter this year, 2020 proved to be a peculiar challenge for all, and I guess my goal-setting intentions have been lagging a little bit as a result. …


A series, because I can’t fit my dating history into one story

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Alphaville; Movie 1969

I believe that our self-worth comes from our dating history and to put it simply, mine isn’t anything short of needy.

Think about it.

Everyone you’ve dated or have had a relationship with reflects who you were at the time in some way. That’s why some people completely change their appearance in some relationships, it is why some people feel rooted to a certain place, or ready to pick up and move at a moment’s notice with their partner.

My dating experience is a long one. Relax, I didn’t “love” everyone, I just liked dating the old-fashioned way, being asked out on dates before dating apps. opened up the opportunity to meet people with no expectations. Sometimes first dates turned into more, other times they were a one and done affair, but familiarity doesn’t hesitate to remind me why they all ended either. …


Because journaling shouldn’t be done with a clear mind, I find it better on a messy one

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I was born to feel everything. Unfortunately, this gets in the way of being a productive human most of the time. Keeping a journal was something I did, often, at my angstiest. My teenage years. I needed someone to talk to but had no one to talk to. My journal became my best friend, willing to listen when no one else could. I never expected to pick up the habit 20 years later.

I don’t know about you, but, I didn’t realize how much journaling could impact my headspace. When I’m at my worst emotionally, I freeze up, it is hard for me to do anything, be with anyone, let it all out in conversation to others. I’ve tried everything that is typically suggested on social media, meditation, yoga, eating correctly, cutting down my caffeine intake, yadda, yadda, yadda. While these habits have helped, nothing has given me the release that journaling has and I’d recommend it to everyone looking for self-healing methods. …


A 10-minute Free-Write

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Walmart.com

I woke up to an empty house. My fingers numb from existing, connected to my palms to form tools I could pick things up with or let things go of. I couldn’t remember what had happened that forced everyone to leave, but they had done so in such a quiet and silent way that it looked as though they had completely erased memories, past memories — times in my life that I wanted to let go of from the heavy and tight grasp of my fingers, and erase the past. …


A poem

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Sunshine & Honey

I fell harder than I’ve ever fallen

past the skies

all the goodbyes

a thud on the ground could not muffle

the warrior cry —

Unmasked, completely naked

Surrendering

to the fear of crowded silence and caravans,

carrying shame and me,

I used to lay on you

bound by our wrists and memories intertwined

like fireflies waiting in a jar to die.

You never let me fly —

bat my wings in the direction of chance,

instead bundled me away for one last dance,

the rebirth won’t let me forget

the past life I led

strengthening the fire that once

propelled me…


A Swan Song Promising Hope In A Time Full Of Doubt

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It’s like that saying: everything ends up in a landfill somewhere. That’s what online teaching is like. A dedicated educator knows that we do not enter into this profession for the money or the perks. Most of us are here for the good things and the magic the comes from believing in the future leaders of our world: our students.

Recent data from online teaching this year will show that teachers across the United States have not folded under pressure, despite the thousands of demands and opinions thrown at us, daily, we continue to navigate a landscape never explored before in education. We met the pandemic online teaching year with a shrug and a will to keep our spirits high for our students who were forced to do the same thing. The decision to reopen schools feels right for families who really need it and families that really want it. What is not being recognized right now is the tremendous opportunity we all have to make education for our children better. …


A true story

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It was fall-ish and I was in Silver City, New Mexico, warming up before the time trial I would be racing in at noon. I was just noticing all the grass in between me and the rest of the field, laid with beaten paths and a type of crisp air that couldn’t rest. I guess I knew what laid ahead of me, but I didn’t know how hard it would be to get there. Maybe I’d be able to get to Nationals, maybe I wouldn’t, but this time trial would determine my very fate on the team.

“Line up on the starting line!”, the man repeated. He was standing yards away from the spray-painted line that was supposed to mark where the time trial began. All of us lined up on it as if we were all about to be oil painted in the same position, everything felt still as we waited for the gun to go off. I wondered why it always seemed to take so long between telling runners to step to the line and the sound of the gun, marking the start of the race, but it felt like time had slowed down just enough to where gravity meant nothing. Thoughts and reality floated around aimless in this time loop prior to the start of the race. …


A Humorous Puzzle I Don’t Want To Put Together

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One thing that puzzles me during the pandemic is all the talk about anti-socializing behavior becoming cool. The plan back in July when this pandemic was supposed to last until September was that everyone would get back to their “activities”, their yoga class, their happy hours, the cushy amenities that come with groups of friends & co-workers. I don’t know where these people are anymore. I’ve been an introvert for 29 years, and it’s been good. No one supported my willingness to run home from work, change into my sweatpants, sit on the couch to queue Netflix instead of going out to grab a drink with the crowd. It was a simpler time, being at the center of introvert-hood, trying to explain it to my friends, but instead staying at home to spend time with myself. …


A real rap guide through teaching

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@realrapwithreynolds on Instagram

Pretty Needy and Cool Spotlights

CJ Reynolds may be a high school teacher, but his method for bringing awareness to education has allowed him to attain a 13.9K Instagram following and 52K subscribers on Youtube. It’s no secret I’m a fan: a third-year teacher struggling to teach virtually amidst a pandemic, I need all the wisdom and positivity in a space that often breeds the opposite. I’ve practiced Reynold’s strategies and am currently reading his book: Teach Your Class Off.

About

Jessie Dumont

A Personal Story-Led Blog, Celebrating Self-Acceptance Through Storytelling & Sharing. Instagram: @cest_la_jess and @prettyneedycool

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